I once held the belief that my role models just sailed through life never encountering the same obstacles I had to face. I put them on a pedestal and thought that someday I would get to the point where I didn’t have to constantly deal with so many challenges and life would be sweeter.
I used to think that the harder I worked, the more I practiced, the more success I achieved, that my struggles would somehow get easier.
But that’s not what I believe anymore.
I’ve come to realize that everyone faces their battles, even though not everyone is forthcoming about it. We live in a world where we are constantly being sold “the dream life”. We are constantly bombarded with carefully curated, airbrushed and seemingly perfect depictions of individuals, who in reality are deeply flawed just like the rest of us.
For the past 4 months we have been struggling with sick kids.
They are much better than they were back in March, but every week they are sick again because their immune systems are still weak.
This has led to many long sleepless nights.
It has been hard on our family to keep our energy up supporting them, all while trying to maintain our other responsibilities.
Most of you already knew this because we talk about it and I wrote about it a couple months ago, but that’s because it is important for us to be transparent.
The internet and social media has exacerbated this problem by putting our role models in our face. Social media allows us to track their every move, serving as a constant reminder of how we fall short and struggle, while they seemingly don’t.
People post pictures of the highlight real. The new house, the shiny car, the perfect family photo, the sunset on vacation. We all know that life is not just rainbows and unicorns, but the never-ending saga of ‘influencers’ or ‘coaches’ these days want you to think that they got life all figured out. At the same time, they don’t always show us when somebody in their family loses a job, if they get a divorce or fails a test. Their pictures and stories are not illustrating arguments with friends, anxiety, insecurity, depression, loneliness and so much more.
Dr Sarah and I have had the opportunity to be in the company of many people who by all standards seem successful and portray such from their soapbox. But I can tell you this, what you see from the stage or online is sometimes misleading…Not always.
We do know many people that are truly authentic and are the same person out in public as well as behind closed doors.
I have learned that in life there are always going to be challenges to face, hurdles to leap and fires to put out. I believe that if we are not pushing ourselves to be better human beings and stepping into challenging situations, that God will challenge us. So, we might as well choose to challenge ourselves because it can be fun.
We are choosing to homeschool our children this coming year. Some people are excited when we tell them, but some people we talk to don’t understand why, as we already have so much on our plates. As a family, we feel we are being led down this path and are choosing to accept the challenge and in doing so are excited about the positive impact it will have on our lives!
Challenges provide the greatest growth and learning.
Personally, I think there is so much to be learned in the struggle. What captivates me is hearing about your struggles, in adhering to your values, as you listen to that guiding voice inside. ‘Flawless’ individuals are profoundly uninteresting because everything is always ‘great.’ People who act perfect can only sustain about 5 minutes of engaging conversation.
That’s why you often hear me ask in the office, ‘How are YOU doing?’ In the past I have considered the question trite and uninteresting because it is usually followed by ‘Good.’ If you haven’t figured it out yet, I want to know how you are actually doing! How life is treating you, how you are doing on the inside mentally, emotionally and physically as they are all intertwined.
This week share your mistakes, your imperfections, your beautifully messy existence, and all the wonderful things that are happening with those around you. That’s where the true richness lies and what connects us as perfectly imperfect individuals. Because when you hide what makes you human, you also conceal what makes you intriguing.
Be REAL.
Dr. Thom
2 thoughts on “The Highlight Reel”
I absolutely love the last paragraph in your “Highlight Reel”. If this is so true, why do we all hide behind automatic and mostly untrue responses? It has been ingrained in many of us from an early age to not talk about our challenges. By not acknowledging them it makes them less real. A wise man once told me that it is not only important to be honest but to appear honest – words for all of us to live by.
Great message Dr Thom. Very true, I myself don’t enjoy surface level conversations at all!